STUDY - Technical - WRITING
a
nEW mORNING of an old end
Love
or the joy of life or melancholy for its fragility?
Her
love… Or his… Who was it? She lost consciousness quite often,
and with each return, she tried to connect the logic of previous
perceptions.A voice, someone, a soul? Each return brought new memories, new characters, lost through the lost string of memories... How many were still there…
Why was she struggling so much? Why did she keep coming back? She felt pain and regret. But who was he?
In the lapses of consciousness, of the soul preparing to return home, she remembered that he or she said to her, in a lost voice:
I think you will leave this morning! It’s all over!
He was! I recognized him, and I remember it from my memories. From the way, he wailed desperately at the pain tearing his chest.
She had felt him before in the long days of agony.
She gathers her strength not to burst into tears with him. Then, she just feels the need to tell him to take care of him, to...
But she didn’t have the strength to... What was she thinking? Suddenly, she just wanted to look at him one more time.
She opened her eyes vaguely, looking through her eyelids. She was surprised. He was someone else. But just as pained, with cheeks and fists full of tears of pain and grief...
The
perceptions of the past days had accustomed her to surprising
presences with people she loved with all her heart, to whom she
wanted to give her last advice, to be with her pain. Or their
pain?Hallucinations? What does she see, and what does she feel?
The longing to pass something on to her children... But, as if, she had no children in her too-short life! But why do I feel this? Why do I feel like they’re just hallucinations?
Why do I feel like I have something to pass on to my children? Right now, she felt the need to say something to them… And to Alexandrion, and Cleopatra, and...
Are they, or aren’t they, my children?
She was tired again… Exhausted, she couldn’t even concentrate to complete a thought or be able to say something…
Her soul ached. Why? Only she had accepted to leave, that everything was over… She was amazed that the physical pain had disappeared, suffocated only by the wave of unspoken words she wanted to send them in one last message.
Love in the silence of your deed to her,
To live in the noise of joy around her,
Warming you up with her soulful smile,
Frozen in fears gathered for her beguile.
And
I lost myself in the imminent departure... I am with her, with
my love, leaving, as usual, far too quickly…How strange that the poem had hit him! How much pain he had experienced watching how he left his loved ones, just when they needed him the most...
My patricians, my legion, my comrades... My family…
He had so many plans, so many unfulfilled wishes for him, for her, for them... Or his children...
But
that’s it, he was left alone, without a face, with a sad soul.
Feeling now the pain of mortal wounds... Or was it just the
fatigue of the fight that ended it again too soon? As if the
physical pain had passed?Amidst the clash of steel and the cruel cry of war,
I fall, I Kentou, a warrior, far from the embrace of home,
The last beat of my heart, a silent and mournful sigh,
For the loved ones left behind, it is a bittersweet grace.
Embracing the battlefield, a cold and unforgiving bed,
Where dreams of peace and cherished bonds dissolve,
My spirit longs for the heart and the way of the family,
As fate decrees, my final journey must take place.
The sun descends low, casting shadows everywhere.
As dusk paints the sky with mournful hues,
I close my eyes, embracing death, on the bed of flowers.
Warrior soul, forever wanting to be perfect.
Why does poetry strike me? I feel like I must pass something on! But I’m so lonely… Where is the perfection of the moment?
Kentou, the “Sword of the Wise”, dies still muttering. In the silence of helplessness... Does not the blood drain from the torn arteries faster to escape this pain?
The
physical pain is atrocious, but my dear must not feel my
struggle. My loneliness in the face of departure... Let her not
be aware of her loneliness, that comes relentlessly...To gather myself and... To be able to tell her... Yes, the message...
Always, loved ones fell like ears of corn, regardless of the illusions of their lives, regardless of how much I loved them, of my care, regardless of how much I fought with them, for them… Regardless of how much they loved me…
My children… My dear… I had left them everything they needed for a comfortable life, regardless of how long their lives would be… And their children’s lives…
I feel her trembling hand on my chest crushed by the lead of fate… And it hurts… It hurts so much but I will not refuse her touch… I lose myself in pain, I lose myself in longing for her, in her grief…
She presses my chest… It’s like she’s hugging me… Painful… I feel like I’m fainting from so much love… Or fear?
It
is known that I will go. Marie was my favorite
great-granddaughter. A faithful copy of the sensitivity of my
daughter, Ana... I did not expect my great-granddaughter Joan to
care so much for me. My insatiable dear!I want to hold her in my arms. Strangely, my hands are on my chest. Steadfast… As if earlier, I had a bloody hand, caressing my loved ones. My end is near. I feel it now…
And the time will come to forget what was then.
Forgetting every smile that once was then,
When you will only remember your life together,
Even though you were never, in the soul, together.
But I still feel like fighting to leave some kind of last message. To all those, I was with... To all who are now living the separation from me...
I feel like I’m flying towards the light… Or am I the light? A perfect old ending!
My
dears!A strange joy fills my being…
The message!
And this goes from my being to all those present…
My time here is over! But I’ll be back, as always… I’ll just leave you alone for a little while!
An old ending that will always announce a new beginning...
You are so troubled, but it is time to move on regardless of what you will experience.
Yes, I was with you. But I didn’t fail… You just need some time to realize what you’ve lost! Only then will you appreciate everything that follows!
Understand that love for each of you is everything! Love the one close to you as yourself!
And how sorry I am to leave you alone!
Just a blink, and I’m home! My dears… But are not all my children gathered? But they gather, they felt my return… I feel them as they feel me. Our big family...
And
I have so much love stored up, undivided, that I want to share
it with you, my children, right now!And to you, my dears, those who shout in chorus, “Our Sage who lived among the heavens!”!
Now I am among you! With you all! From here, from there...
How perfect I feel!
Note: Images
are created by me, Merticaru Dorin Nicolae, using Microsoft
Bing Image Creator.
Dorin, Merticaru
(01.21, 2024)