STUDY - Technical - WRITING

a nEW mORNING of a New Kind of Life

The Beginning of a New Understanding

Once I was Leif the Viking... I had come at Wulfrich’s call...

And I lived the experience of an extraordinary body... The feeling of raw physical strength... Power without limits and restraints...

He was weak and frail. As my protégé, in the trials of those times.

I was not afraid of anyone because my body did not react to pain, even when injured. It was flawless. I only got sick once I left here. Where did I think, then?

In the realms of Asgard, in the hall of Valhalla... To be chosen by Odin or Freyja…

I was only interested in today… I was just worried I wasn’t getting enough fights, loot, food, drink, and sex.

I was open to anything…

And I died foolishly, in a fight with too many... After a long, long string of wrongs to those in my life, not helping Wulf.

Then I felt the desire to come this way again… Wulf was in big trouble, and it was impossible for me to help him as a guide.

I had a hard time finding anything that would fit. But I did.

And I became a soldier too… Buck’s comrade, but the same Wulf... My comrade and equal in all the trials I had to accomplish...

Ready and open to anything...

But I was James lost among the uniforms. Subject to strict military rules... It was hard to adapt, to be something other than what I was…

As a Viking, I was answerable to no one; I was subject to no one. Wulf was totally changed.

Apathetic, exhausted from too many missed lives...

Now we were soldiers, marching and fighting blindly…

And we died even more foolishly on the battlefield of Waterloo. Both of us…

I was mutilated by a French cannonball... After a rather long agony, without legs, right on the battlefield.

Wulf had died not long before of dysentery! Without me being able to help him.

And we left where we thought then...

We both got to experience love and what it means for a family… But to feel too late, what is really worth living for?

And we came back eager to understand many of the mistakes made. Open to whatever may come next.

Wulf chose to be a family man and a teacher in the northern lands, so loved by him... His debts allowed him to do that.

I chose to be the daughter of a family where there are many libraries, to be cared for by loving parents, and to be dependent on them and their love. And to be able to devote myself to knowledge, learning,

I also knew the need to experience the intensity of someone’s love and to be dependent on... All my life.

I was afraid of being bored, especially since the only solution available was to be a woman.

Not more than 40 years! This was my choice.

The guides had prepared for me a path of “knowledge”, through my desires, but also through the madness of my “debts”, from previous lives.

Open to whatever might "come"...

Thus, little Scarlett started her way through the new life.

Born too late, the only child... Desired by them so as not to be abandoned later, after the marriage.

It was a good understanding…

At first, I was happy. I was loved; I was going to live a quiet life without complications, doing what I wanted, and studying.

It always bothered me that my legs never helped me. “Duty” that I acquired as Leif and that I also “practiced” as James at Waterloo.

As a child, I was a stumbling block, always falling, drawn like a magnet to the ground, almost always hitting my lips.

Which attracted the “development” of large, particularly fleshy lips that complemented the appearance of my “seraphic” face. Which compensated for my permanent weakness...

Everyone liked me, but I always stayed on my own.

And the moment of decision came.

Scarlett used to fool around, playing with the door of the carriage in which she traveled. And I took advantage of this.

She had grown up. Society now uses horse-drawn trams, and the family’s much-loved carriage had long been at the bottom of a dusty shed, forgotten.

And the moment of choice has come...

The conductor of the tram had long accepted his habit of playing with the access door at the end of the carriage.

And time froze.

She had a choice… Then…

A mature but completely unhappy woman in a family with a sad man and children was going to lose far too soon to enjoy their efforts.

Or... a disabled but successful writer full of life. Who will acquire leadership skills with children, driven by Leif’s inner strength?

Which, possibly, will be useful to him in the future meeting with Wulf. Will he be able to help him and go back?

He could have pulled back, but the inner voice told him: There is a chance; don’t wait; accept the fall! Be open!

The agony of the three months that followed was unimaginable. But I learned from this experience and understood that the memories of Leif’s ability to bear pain helped me.

And my conscience became stronger.

Overcoming my broken body and controlling my pain, I learned to focus on my studies. Even though I was living a life full of limits and lacks...

I climbed the academic hierarchy and became… Collaborator with Wulf. He became a figure who now protects me. Especially after I returned to Uppsala.

Now we are in the sanatorium, where we are living our last moments. On a sunny morning at the end of October, “benefiting” from James’s memories.

I no longer had any debts…

He is helping me move on! Where did he think, then?

He was open to everything, being the one who helped me at every meeting.

Through his struggle, he reached Odin. And I to Freyja...

Karmic compensation worked with the help of...

Be open to all of life! Be open to a new understanding and to a new kind of life!

Note: Images are created by me, Merticaru Dorin Nicolae, using Microsoft Bing Image Creator.

Dorin, Merticaru (10.20, 2023)