STUDY - Technical - WRITING

a nEW mORNING FOR AN oLD cLOWN

The Beginning of a New Week

I’m here, on the edge of the circus arena, sitting down and thinking about what I’m going to do at today’s show.

But my thoughts wander with my loved ones.

I had crept out of bed, kissing my wife, as usual, and announcing to her, still in the night, that I was leaving to prepare for the show that was to follow.

The decades together had gotten her used to it, and she no longer woke up when I left. He just caresses me between sleep and consciousness, receiving my farewell kiss, smiling in her dream, or at me. I never realized what her feelings would be at that moment.

I used to stop by the children too, look at them, and kiss their foreheads before I parted with each of them until the late evening that would come, impatient to find out what they had done, what I could do to help them, to be by their side.

And steal as many smiles as I can by continuing to be the clown in everyday life.

But they left a long time ago. To their "homes," on the road of their lives... And how I miss their smiles.

So rarely found among the breaks of the “shows” of their lives...

I constantly reminded my circus colleagues, “Today’s smile of my loved ones I will not catch tomorrow! But it can be another, and I’ll still be satisfied.”

With my diction, forced with a “Russian” accent, I remind them of my role as a clown!

Forgetting that I am Romanian... I am proud of my language, which has nothing to do with Slavic languages.

Oh, I had wasted enough time with the equipment, makeup, and traffic… The day will start soon, and the week... Oh…

But it’s the first day of the rest of my life! Get yourself together, you old loser! Clown!

The big, oversized watch on my clown arm wakes me up, telling me to take the medication, which will buy me another day… As a man, as a father, as a clown...

Done! I took the medication! Let’s start preparing for today’s show!

Be open, be open, be open!!! I repeat it like a mantra, but nothing comes to mind.

I was surfing my shabby tablet looking for instructions! I write down everything to keep the performances the same. What should I do?!? This “antique” barely „moves”...

The director of the new circus, which I joined, respectfully asked me to do only short acts of a maximum of 1,000 words.

Yes, I’m old! That’s why he asked me. To take care of me? To take care of us...

I need to feel that those around me are with me! From boss to colleague to spectator... He doesn’t know me, and anyway...

Yes, no one knows me; I realized this spontaneously! It’s just make-up, a clown costume, and... What I do...

Get together! A show of mine takes much longer.

My clown antics started among the spectators, entertaining them with whatever I did.

Balloon animals, jokes, handing out circus souvenirs to any child or adult we bump into before, during, and between shows...

Without realizing my efforts, how much work is behind it, how much science, knowledge… Just to be a clown...

Until the day ends, along with my energy... As a man, as a father, as a clown...

But I was pulling myself together, with everything I had left, and becoming a father eager to reach his children and his wife.

Oh, how I miss them...

Yes, pull yourself together, Dorin, you clown! Be open, be open, be open...

But the medication is starting to take its toll, leaving me dazed, crushing, and depleting my resources. From the start of the day... To win a new day...

I must get there quickly to hug my throne. The toilet… Vomiting without ruining the makeup I worked so hard on before leaving...

“Show must go on”!!! No one must see me like this! And I sing with an old clown, long gone... “Show must go on”!!!

Trying not to burst into tears... I will ruin the makeup! I resist the pain that pierces my jaw. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry!

Be open, be open... My new mantra... Along with all my other shows...

This week I will be giving only this show here! Anyway, the audience is everything!

I’ll be better prepared for next week. I’ll have more time between shows.

I hope!

Oh, 3 hours have already passed! Let the show begin! Writing this down on my “outdated” tablet! Oh, there’s also English translation time… Oh, I’m in a time crunch!

Oh, and to send the director the link to my material! At least that’s all I can do for a start.

The show must go on…!

Note: Images are created by me, Merticaru Dorin Nicolae, using Microsoft Bing Image Creator.

Dorin, Merticaru (10.07, 2023)